6 Ways To Beat The Holiday Blues

The media often paints the holidays as being full of love, joy and merriment, but for many people, the holiday season and the end of another year can be difficult. The sunless and wintry weather can bring us down. When our family visits it can often feel overwhelming and tiring. In some cases even painful emotions can surface, especially with the memory of someone that has passed away or simply the thought of how quickly time has passed by. Over the holidays it’s common for many of us tend to tie some kind of meaning to the holidays which can add extra pressure to our experience and may set us up for disappointment, anxiety, or sadness. There may be many reasons why we get down at the end of the year as the New Year approaches which will be explained and how we can take a more positive approach to the end of the year.

In the winter season, symptoms of stress and depression may increase, it’s not uncommon for many to suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). A lesser form of seasonal mood changes, known as winter blues may be experienced by others during the winter months. Millions may struggle with a mild to severe case of the “winter blues” or you maybe just someone who finds themselves feeling in a bad mood over the holidays, there are some tips below that may help you get over the taxing seasonal hurdles that could be dragging you down.

1) Stay Active – When the weather is cold and dark it can make you feel drowsy and make us feel like staying indoors,  and being less physically active. To feel better, try some activity outside like a hike, or a brisk wake which can increase your energy, get your blood pumping and overall improve your mood. It’s important to engage in exercise or other physical activities that release endorphins and boost your energy levels. Activities such as low impact aerobic exercise can help fight against depression, so make sure to set some time aside to get your body moving.

2) Be Positive – It’s not uncommon this time of year to feel that inner critic cutting you down or making negative comments. Some comments may be “I have no family or friends so therefore, nobody loves me. I’m just going to wind up alone anyway.” or “It’s almost new years and another year has gone by, and I have nothing to show for it. I am so pathetic.” These mean and unhelpful thoughts make up your “critical inner voice.” This inner enemy develops out of painful early life experience(s), in which we assimilated catastrophic attitudes. Now as an adult, we may act out and punish ourselves by listening to our critical inner voice.

In order to change this critical inner self talk, it’s essential that we become aware of when we do it and that we catch ourselves before it gets out of control. This critical self talk can become a nasty habit that becomes challenging to break if we don’t keep an eye on it. When we become aware of it, we can change it much easier so that it doesn’t rule our lives. If it lures us to isolate ourselves with thoughts like “You’re better off alone. No one wants you around anyway,” we should seek out friends. Should we have difficulty with keeping our commitment to our New Year’s resolution with thoughts like “You’re going to fail anyway. You might as well give up now because you’re weak.” we must persevere. In taking control of our inner voice, we want to create a more positive, kinder, and more compassionate attitude toward ourselves.

3) Learn Your Patterns – When a person starts feeling down, an important question to ask ourselves may be “What am I saying to myself when I start to feel stressed or depressed?” Frequently, we will notice a pattern to our moods that is essential to identify and disrupt.  The moment when our mood starts to decline can be a signal that our inner critic is at work. To change this habit that’s become a pattern of behaviour we have to acknowledge and become aware when and how we are doing this. The key is starting to keep track of your triggers so that you can learn to identify your patterns. It can be something someone says, an argument from one of our kids that can trigger a scenario from our childhood. Even a rude or condescending comment from a parent or partner can leave us full of self-doubt and resentment. The weather can play a role in our mood too. Maybe try a “blue light” to improve your mood which can be picked up from most health food stores. Just call around to locate one.

4) Limit Family Time – Family time to some may sound relaxing and joyful, but not all holiday visits are filled with warmth and affection. Time spent with our families can reactivate old dynamics and stir up old emotional reactions. Depending on where we are at in our lives, seeing our families can ignite feelings of guilt, embarrassment, or anger. Some times our parents can be critical or make little comments that may not seem like a big deal, but they may spark feelings of hurt from our childhood.

You shouldn’t feel bad or guilty to choose the time you spend with your family, who you spend time with and remember, that the time you do spend with them may evoke past emotions. The more aware we are of our family dynamics and our reactions when it comes to what they say and do the less likely we are to become triggered easily. And even if we do, we have a choice of how we choose to respond or not respond. We can change that situation just by removing ourselves from it completely or behaving differently ourselves which may cause a change in their behaviour too.  When we are aware of our patterns, we are less likely to act in ways we wouldn’t be proud of, such as acting childishly or becoming moody. We should try to remember that the holidays are a time to be around the people we love and cherish. As author and journalist Edna Buchanan said, “Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” This holiday season, seek out places you that make you feel good and surround yourself with people who positive and don’t run you down.

5) Maintain A Balance – Having balance over the holidays is critical to our survival through this stressful time of year. Quite a few of us will commit ourselves to doing way too much over the holidays with family, and distant relatives and the unusual hours we work. Be kind to yourself at this time and don’t take on too much in the way of work responsibilities or too many late work meetings;etc. It can be easy to become caught up in trying to get everything done before Christmas and prior to New Year’s Eve but remember to mind your emotions. Try to be close to what you’re feeling, be compassionate to yourself most of all while your looking after all your obligations whether it’s your dinner presentation, menus, long grocery shopping lists, christmas presents to be bought. Don’t let these things get the best of you and become overwhelming. You can’t do everything and delegating if possible can be helpful.

It’s easy for depression and sadness to overtake you at this time when we ignore our painful, angry, or even lonely  feelings. If you should be depressed or sad for longer than a few weeks you may want to seek out the help of a professional such as your family doctor, and a counsellor.

Friends and relatives may be helpful too but we can’t rely on them solely to support us emotionally. They have their own lives and we don’t want to burden them by our problems continually. That’s not fair.

It’s important to know that these feelings of the “winter blues,” will likely pass for most of us but if they don’t please don’t hesitate to seek help. There is no shame in seeking the help you need this time of year. So put your pride in your back pocket and just ask for help. You’re not alone and simply talking to a professional who gets it will help. And if at first you don’t succeed try, try again. There are caring, compassionate counsellors out there that are willing and able to help you through this rough patch so you don’t need to be alone. No matter what the season, we can all experience dark times, but we can come out the other end stronger within ourselves. Don’t suffer a moment longer, email us today at admin@ovcs.ca.

6) Become Engaged in a Hobby – Having a hobby can help to build self-esteem and be a great distraction. During the holidays if you don’t have any family or friends to spend time with, why not keep yourself busy with a hobby you enjoy spending time at, which makes you feel good and gives you a sense of purpose. Maybe learn to play an musical instrument, learn to knit or crochet, try wood working, or metal working and as you improve, so well your sense of self-worth. A hobby can not only bring joy but a sense of satisfaction when you complete a project or can see the results of your hard work.

Join Christina in the Spring 2018 for the weekend workshop retreat, “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice” at the beautiful Central Okanagan Massage and Supply Building in West Kelowna, BC. Learn more soon.