Have you really let go of your past relationship? Find out by answering the following statements with either true or false I think of my former love partner often. I fantasize about being with my former love partner. I find excuses to talk to my former love partner. I talk about my former love partner often to others. I am angry with my former love partner. I still try to please my former love partner. I still have an emotional commitment to my former love partner. I still think of my former love partner and I get back together with them. I become emotionally upset when I think about my former love partner.
If you answered to true to at least one or more of the above statements then you may not have completely let go of your past relationship. You are carrying around some extra baggage that could get in the way of you starting a new relationship and moving forward in a positive way.
Reluctance to let go of a past relationship is really a sign of unexpressed feelings feelings that have suppressed and not fully been felt because of the inability to face such feelings. You may be afraid to let go because it will have to force you to deal directly with your feelings of rejection, guilt, loneliness, etc. So, you avoid feelings the feelings by not letting go. You will probably have to face the feelings directly before you will be able to let go. Ask yourself what feeling what I feel the strongest if I did let go of my acts love? Maybe your reluctance to let go is actually covering up your inability to face the primary feeling that is underneath. If you feel the need for support with this please see us as a counsellor for see a friend a minister or support person.
Put your time and energy into investing investing in your own personal growth instead of investing in a relationship that ended. There is no return on investment in relationships and relationship emotional corpse. In contrast, the greatest possible return comes from the investment in you. The big question remains how do you let go? Or how do I stop loving that person? It must is much easier to let go, of course, if you have other things going for you a good job, a good support system, friends, and relatives who are helpful and supportive, some sort of interned internal fullness rather than emptiness all of these will help fill the void created when the beloved person is removed.
Here are some specific examples from Dr. Bruce Fisher’s book rebuilding suggests that you can do suggest things that you can do to let go.
Go through your house and remove all of those things that tend to keep you thinking about your former love partner. Get rid of pictures gifts and similar mementos can be removed that way they are not a constant reminder to you.
If you live together then you may want to rearrange the furniture in the house, perhaps even look at moving to a new house or look at different ways to move around your living situation.
The shared dad is often an easy important especially important symbol. You may need to put the man in another room, sell it, or at least move it to a new spot in the bedroom. Change the coverings for a new look.
Make a collection of all those reminders of your former love relationship and store them in a box in the attic, garage, or basement. Some weekend you may choose to do some in plosive grieving, whereby bring out all those mementos and you set aside a period of time to grieve heavily has heavily as possible. This period will probably be very depressing and having another person around for support can help. Becoming as much out of control as possible in your breathing may help you to let go more rapidly. By increasing the intensity of the grief, this in plosive grieving grieving may shorten the number of weeks or months that it takes to finally let go. Refuse to play the game. Don’t return phone calls, letters, or emails from that person you are trying to let go of. You will have to become assertive, or perhaps even start hanging up the phone or returning letters unanswered or unopened.
Whenever you find yourself weeping about that person, think about something painful or something unpleasant in the love relationship. That will lead you to stop thinking about the person. And choose another image to concentrate on, instead of focusing on the past love. Forgiveness helps. To forgive the other person and yourself try the following
Write down the name of a person that is for you in the past. Explain in detail what they did that hurt you. Holding on to past hurts and anger only hurts you and keeps you from leading a more positive and fulfilling life. Now read and review the words you’ve written. Repeat to you yourself out loud the following I forgive such and such their name and I released the hurt and anger I felt and now go free then tear up those Terra this list
Write down all the things you have said or done is person that you are not proud of and/or are sorry for. The act of writing these things down and putting them on paper his healing in and of itself. Now read and review the list. Repeat to yourself and out loud the following I did the best that I could with the knowledge I had at the time and now I forgive myself and go free then tear up that list. New paragraph recent research shows that the act of writing things down in writing your feelings and expressing your emotions on paper can help the healing process. This process helps remove the feelings from the inside of you and allows you to view them on paper as an outsider looking in and therefore gives you a chance to read release forgive and go free. You must try this it is a powerful exercise and can be very very effective. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and this gift has the power to release you and lift your spirit. You can and will have a new beginning in life and a new attitude when you forget. Release yourself and go free.
